John F. Kennedy Single Available now.
What inspired the song?
A dream and a burden. The song is about a dream I actually had several years ago in which I came down a flight of stairs and saw John Kennedy on a table, deceased or about to die. He opened his eyes wide and took a last gasp of air as I looked at him, and then he passed. It terrified me. As for the burden…I was born on the first day of John Kennedy’s Presidency. I grew up in Massachusetts, ten miles or so from where he was born. My mother told me that she gave me my middle name, “Mark,” because she thought it would sound nice if I ever became President. I was captivated by John Kennedy’s vision and rhetoric, but also by the mythology that surrounded him, the cinematic nature of the ceremonial Presidency. I wanted to be president. I lived in the same freshman dorm at Harvard (Wigglesworth Hall)—by total coincidence—as JFK. I ran for office at a young age and won. I was on my way just as I was beginning to realize I was gay. There were no out politicians back then in the early eighties, so I said a sad and quiet goodbye to that dream. But the desire for it never left. For many years it was a terrible burden—this feeling that if I didn’t win the presidency some day my life would have been wasted—that I would die not self-actualized. That when I met God at the gates of heaven God would say, “Well you really screwed up what I gave you.” It took a lot of work in therapy to realize that big and self-actualization are not the same thing. Letting go of the desire to be adored by the whole world—to be a savior to the whole world—took enormous effort, but in the end I did let go, and it gave me a profound sense of relief and access to another world and another life in which I could discover parts of myself outside the realm of the box—big as it was—to which I had confined myself for over half a century of my life. Carl Jung would say that any character in a dream is really a part of yourself. So it’s not so much a song about John F. Kennedy as it is about that part of myself that needed to be president—to be adored at global scale—that ultimately died on that table—terrified of what life would be like without that yoke, that burden, that prison. That’s what was gasping for breath. That’s what expired in that dream.
Was there a specific feeling that you were trying to elicit in listeners?
The feeling of grief and liberation that comes with shedding old skins that no longer serve you.
Do you have an interesting story about the songwriting or recording process? If yes, elaborate.
I played the song for Steve Earle, a big influence of mine, a few years ago. His reaction was, “Holy shit. This could be a groundbreaking song.” I can’t tell you how self-affirming that was. And I didn’t need to be President to be so affirmed. It was ironic.
What are three descriptors/adjectives that best describe the emotion or melody in this song?
Freedom. Sadness. Inspiration.
Can you provide further context around the visuals associated with this song, including any artwork or video?
The video features historic, public domain video footage of John Kennedy on the day he was to die, of his funeral, and of him as a young man, unburdened by the responsibilities which would later come to his shoulders, and of his son, and him with his son—another part of life—another domain of self-actualization that can often get betrayed or sacrificed in the idolization of big.
Do you have a favourite lyric from this track that you’d like to highlight? Why is that significant to you?
“What if that dream was trying to say, that something old was going away, something that was dear to me, that it was gone and I was free.” It’s meaningful to me because I don’t believe there is a greater joy to be had than to be released to your true self.
Anything else noteworthy? Perhaps about the song title?
For all those who wonder, I wrote this song several years before Bob Dylan wrote, “Murder Most Foul,” about the Kennedy assassination. Guy stole my idea! Kidding. But I did write this before his piece.